PKG (Para Kay God)

E sa naaaliw ako sa kanila e. Sinamahan pa nila kong bumili ng damit kahit sobrang late na.

Di naman kasi talaga mapi-please lahat, saka sabi nga intindihin yung mga pumunta, hindi yung mga hindi pumunta. Thank You po! Para po sa inyo ito.

Sa lahat ng pagkakataon na nandiyan ka, simula sa simula na nagpaplano, sa pagsasakatuparan at sa mismong event, mula sa opening program, ball games, seminar, exhibit, competitions, gig at nung CAFA Night. Alam ko pong nandyan kayo at ginabayan niyo kami. Nawa ay may naidulot ito na maganda, may naiturong aral, naging magandang alaala sa bawat isa po sa amin. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit kami nagsasama-sama, mula dito ay nakabuo kami ng bagong pagkakaibigan, matibay na pagkakaibigan at malaking pananampalataya sa inyo na hinding-hindi niyo po kami hahayaang mag-isa dito sa mundo.

Papuri at pasasalamat sa inyo, Bro!

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Unlimited Sushis

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

–T.R. “Citizenship in a Republic,” Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

I just realized, issues will be always there. As you rise from the ground, they will try to pull you down. And as you fall down, they would still be there for you. Oh, how I love issues. *sarcasm intended*

You’re always there, at home, at school, in the community.. I couldn’t help but notice you. I never expected that I would have you around just because my words, my actions are misunderstood. Or because other people would think of it that way. My intentions were so simple. I never meant to mess up with you. How I’d like to have a clean slate  and finally get over you. I know it wouldn’t be easy. But soon, it will be over.

****

Can’t wait for Thursday. I think it’s a Thursdate. No tumalThursady as for now. Hehe. –.

D, M, G – I am really bothered with this issue, or should I say together with the past issues. Yes, I am academically endangered and personally targeted by some creatures that tend to do things beyond what they’re supposed to do. Am really grateful that Mommy J and I are in good terms. I think we’re better than ever. She hears me out and I think she understands me, one way or another. And Sir D’s still there, I know. he never fails enightening me and giving me moral support. Aww. How I miss him.

P – I am actively inactive in the community, since the last CLP ended. If dropping by every Discovery Weekend counts, I dunno if that Hagonoy and Calumpit YFCDC even counts. I’ve missed the Chapter Assembly, Christmas Party, Upper Household and Lower Household, etcetera etcetera. Missing the households, which is now held every week, is kind of a big loss on my part. But I promise, once my CADD class would end, I’d be back on track. And that issue would soon evaporate. Para naman kasing masusubukan ako sa lalaki o. ._.

Hi God. You never failed surprising me. And loving me. And blessing me. And protecting me. And guiding me. I just hope I am the person you’d want me to be, to be where you ought me to be. I believe you, I trust in you. Your plans and your will. I would never give up. 😉

Things are about to change..

xoxo
kat

Mama G

That was exactly a week ago. I was really glad about what happened. I never thought, a professor like her would even care about a student like me. I was in awe and it felt so good and I haven’t recovered, still. And also the conversation with Ma’am Danao, ’twas really nice. They were so nice to me.

And suddenly I became so uninterested in blogging. Argh. It aint me, at all. Sumusuko na din ako sa Architecture, in fairness. Anyway, thank You po for being there when it almost felt like am about to die. You gave me strength and everything I need. My family, my parents who took care of me for days I couldn’t stand up, literally. Saka po for the people who bothered, texting, asking me and most especially for those who went to visit me. It was really refreshing.

And after that 7 sick days, I badly needed to catch up. Am worried about this CADD class and the RM thing and translation. Papa God sana po wag kayong mawawala sa tabi ko. Guide me and bless me with enough knowledge, sipag, wisdom and discernment. Am losing my focus on things and y’know my mind’s everywhere. Everywhere, not in the place it should be. Haaaay. Papa Jesus please direct me. Let the Holy Spirit guide me through.

With lots of love, hope and faith,

KAT ❤

Archangel D

And they felt the same way, eh?

Coz I was so sad, like really sad yesterday. Realizations came and I was thinking about what’s gonna happen next. Just when I thought I finally got over the walls of  an adviser, he’d go just like other people do in my life do so that. Am so grateful for having Sir D around. It was like I have another father watching me and guiding me. And I could never stop him from doing anything and really, it’s best for him to accept that job. But having him around give me confidence that someone’s gonna be there when I fail. Someone’s gonna correct me and blablablabla. Naiiyak ako. Haaay.

Hindi ka namin mapipigilan, di ka rin naman mawawala, di ka talaga mawawala sa puso namin Sir. Nandyan ka pa rin naman, hindi nga lang makikita araw-araw pero nandiyan ka. Alam naming gagabayan mo pa rin kami tulad ng ginagawa mo kahit hindi na ikaw ang adviser namin. Maiiba nga lang ngayon kasi may iba ka ng pagkakaabalahan. At alam naming gusto niyo yan at suportdao namin kayo sa gagawin niyo.

Hindi ko nasasabi sa inyo o di ko nasusuklian yung kabaitan niyo, pero maraming maraming salamat, ang dami niyong naibahagi at marami akong natutunan sa inyo, Tay!

My Stupid Mouth, again..

My stupid mouth has got me in trouble I said too much again..

And that’s the classic me having trouble with expressing myself without people getting the wrong idea or bad intentions that I might be posing. Well, am getting used to this. I just don’t know why people tend to give meaning, or other meaning than what is simply stated by a person. I don’t get it. I mean, when I say things like ‘I just wanna continue it no matter what‘ I mean it as simple as that. I never wanna offend anybody with my words but unconsciously I am doing so. Am a sucker with word choices. Yea, really.

And I am really grateful for having Sir D trying to explain me things I quite don’t understand in the coolest way possible. And I really am thankful for him being open-minded and I I’d like to think that he understands me  and he accepts whatever I say and try to correct me whenever. And it’s quite cool he approached me in the not so awkward way. Haaaaay. He knows that I’m still a kid trying to figure out life and it’s wonders.

Hello God, thank You. Am really thankful for the people you’re giving me. Though uninspired and even though I feel like giving up these past few weeks, You continue blessing me and giving me inspirations and will to go on. Thank You po.

You don’t have to be all things to all people; a few things to a few people will be just fine. 

Backslide, nuh-uh..

My God, I’m taking the road I think You gave me to travel on. I may not be fully confident about my decisions, the way I see (it as) right or wrong, or the way I think about it and the way I think it’d end up. But I know, all I know is that You are there. I may stumble and falter along the way; I’ll get back up for You are there. You alone are God. I LOVE YOU. I may not have shown You or said it as much as I could, but I do, yes Lord, I love You. You never failed loving me in every way. You loved me no matter what. How could You in spite? God, I am unworthy of Your Love, Your Salvation and blessings, yet You gave it all for me with no hesitations. And I’m here trying to make sense of it all. God.. I’m holding unto You. As always.

I love You,
Katriz

2011.1123

There are days that I feel so helpless. This is one of those days that as I stand, sit, or walk in the hallways, I couldn’t find familiarity in any place I would go or look at… I’m scared. I’m stumbling. I’m trembling deep inside my heart and my mind. I’m not secured. About anything I am doing right now, the research, the plates, the people around me, the future. I dunno what’s going to happen. Aint sure if this is even for me, this environment, the work, the people. Too late for backing out, I know. I feel so helpless. This aint what I really want. I don’t even know what I really want. I feel like I’m just hanging and am not going anywhere.

God I’m so sorry.
2011.1129

If I could just hug You Abba Father and feel the warmth, that I’m secured, that I am loved in Your arms.
2011.1211

****

I am isolating myself, backsliding.  “Fellowship” blinks at the side of my sight. Sorry. Sorry for the way. Sorry for the thoughts, the clutter, the decisions, the way I am. I couldn’t wait for 2011 to just pass and make 2012 a better one. Am stuck, am helpless. I  need no resolution not a fan of resolutionsI badly needed a redirection. But then I was reminded by these:

God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them. (Max Lucado)

*2011 Forecast and 2012 Resolutions Redirections coming up.

RM

And now I’m working at my Research Method project but then something struck me all of a sudden. As I read the thesis manual, thinking it was done by Ma’am Eva, her voice is playing inside my head imagining she’s reading it and explaining it unto me. I can still remember her voice and intonation vividly. Something bothers me, really.

FLASHBACK:
She asked us to design a vestibule wayback in sophomore year. Oo nga no, how fitting. Di pa namin alam noon na may sakit siya, though di rin ako sigurado kung alam na niya yung kalalagayan niya noon. That was her last exercise or something I remembered back in the days. Kaya pala ako kinakabahan.

Doing this RM reminds me of her remarks regarding my explanation with my vestibule design. =( Making me really nervous of its outcome. I don’t wanna do that same mistake again. I don’t wanna disappoint her, she already told me about it. And now am hoping I would never do the same again. NOTED.

Say it once, say it correctly, say it in the right place.

*This should be my motto in life.