Loss and Reconciliation

Hindi ko maalala kung kailan kita huling nakita. Hindi ko maalala kung ano ang mga huling sinabi mo sa akin. Ni hindi ako sigurado kung kinausap man lang ba kita nung huli tayong magkita. Ang tanging alaala ko na ang mula sa iyo ay tuwing umuuwi ka sa amin, bumibisita at pinabibili mo ako ng iyong pabritong inumin. O hindi kaya naman ay magpapatimpla ng kape na hindi ko talaga ginagawa. At lahat ng mga iyon ay isa na lang alaala.

It’s ironic that tragedy brings people together. I wonder why can’t we just celebrate our togetherness while we are all still alive. It was one sad but happy week. My uncle finally rested and everyone went to see him, for the last time. Seeing people coming from different places is great and the best part of it is seeing them reconcile. My uncle and his wife are finally in good terms. They got their own families now and they’re both living their lives as peaceful as it is. My uncle’s daughter went home at last, thought she wasn’t able to see him alive before he died. Everyone got to talk to him before passed away. Even my sister before she headed to Dubai, I did not. I wonder when will I be able to let them know how I feel. Let them feel how much I love them and how much I value them. Before it’s too late.

Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. (Damon Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries S04E02)

Kaya pala hindi ko rin nagawang mapost ‘tong sinabi ni Damon last week kasi iniisip ko hindi naman ito napapanahon, may mangyayari pala. Hindi naman kasi sa simpleng pag-ilaw at pagpapalipad ng papel na ilaw ay ganoon na kadaling iwaglit mula sa puso at isipan natin ang mga tao at naiwan nilang alaala sa atin.

As time goes on you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve for yourself.

Posted on: 2012Nov07

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