I always think endings are scary. And dreadful. But having loose ends are more painful. And heartbreaking. The agony is prolonged. You had to cut it or burn it in order to fix it. But after a while, just when you thought you got used to it, it will keep on coming back. Writing it down, finally, helped me, not for a long time though. It felt like I’ve already let it out and one day it would also fade. But it’s not, it’s just there. So the question is, when will I have the courage to hand it? Give it one more try. Maybe not for another chance but this time for a closure.
I am never gonna have closure. Closure does not exist.. It just ended. And no matter how much I try to forget that it happened it will have never not happened. We’ll always be a loose end. we will always be.. (Robin Scherbartsky)
..Unfinished. Gaudi to his credit never gave up on his dream. But that’s not usually how it goes. And usually it isn’t the speeding bus that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built. Most of the time it’s just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. So only once you stop that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it. But its always there and until you finish it, it will always be.. (Ted Mosby)
Credits to How I Met Your Mother S06E03. It helped me realized this certain feeling I can hardly recognize this past few weeks. I just wish though it was something grand that I am contemplating about, like Ted Mosby’s indecision in accepting his dream job of designing a skyscraper in New York, the dream he already gave up on a long time ago. Or Robin Scherbatsky’s sudden break-up with a guy whom she doesn’t like at first then they went all fast and move-in after a couple of months then the guy went elsewehere after. Am not even close to having that kind of problem. It’s obvious. I’ve already been given lots of reasons to let it go and not a single reason to hold on, but here I am. In another news, I really love how Antoni Gaudi’s Sagrada familia became the center of the episode this time. I may not personally prefer his style, but I love Antoni Gaudi and his works. I am more of figuratively speaking, an ‘unfinished’-type of person. I prefer things open-ended. No happy endings, just the story in beteween. Hoping it will soon continue. An ellipsis to every story. It will just be..