Cold

How seemingly uncomfortable I am with the coldness, not just by the weather but the way you treat me now. Like the swaying trees screeching outside as the wind blows hard, you scare me. I am. With the coldness towards me of every people I’ve known these past few days. This weather – the rain, cold breeze, storm trooping, brings me into some trance of idiosyncrasy. I’d like to reach out. Figure it out and maybe try to compromise between what left and what it can become. It’s odd. And I’m startled with all the thoughts of not wanting me around, anymore. Not even close to anything related. How I’d love a chance to speak my mind before I spiral down into that moment. The moment I had to let you go, finally. Let go of everything else I’ve been holding onto. I thought you were and now I am unsure. Trying to hide the uncertainty and insecurities. A façade of brevity – trying to pry as much as I can. Then perpetually fails. Cycle. Endless cycles.

The excitement out of the message dissipates as if I was someone irrelevant. Oh guess what, Kat, you are irrelevant. Sorry to disappoint you, mister. Am not the person you thought I was.

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