Backslide, nuh-uh..

My God, I’m taking the road I think You gave me to travel on. I may not be fully confident about my decisions, the way I see (it as) right or wrong, or the way I think about it and the way I think it’d end up. But I know, all I know is that You are there. I may stumble and falter along the way; I’ll get back up for You are there. You alone are God. I LOVE YOU. I may not have shown You or said it as much as I could, but I do, yes Lord, I love You. You never failed loving me in every way. You loved me no matter what. How could You in spite? God, I am unworthy of Your Love, Your Salvation and blessings, yet You gave it all for me with no hesitations. And I’m here trying to make sense of it all. God.. I’m holding unto You. As always.

I love You,
Katriz

2011.1123

There are days that I feel so helpless. This is one of those days that as I stand, sit, or walk in the hallways, I couldn’t find familiarity in any place I would go or look at… I’m scared. I’m stumbling. I’m trembling deep inside my heart and my mind. I’m not secured. About anything I am doing right now, the research, the plates, the people around me, the future. I dunno what’s going to happen. Aint sure if this is even for me, this environment, the work, the people. Too late for backing out, I know. I feel so helpless. This aint what I really want. I don’t even know what I really want. I feel like I’m just hanging and am not going anywhere.

God I’m so sorry.
2011.1129

If I could just hug You Abba Father and feel the warmth, that I’m secured, that I am loved in Your arms.
2011.1211

****

I am isolating myself, backsliding.  “Fellowship” blinks at the side of my sight. Sorry. Sorry for the way. Sorry for the thoughts, the clutter, the decisions, the way I am. I couldn’t wait for 2011 to just pass and make 2012 a better one. Am stuck, am helpless. I  need no resolution not a fan of resolutionsI badly needed a redirection. But then I was reminded by these:

God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them. (Max Lucado)

*2011 Forecast and 2012 Resolutions Redirections coming up.

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