Conversation with Myself

Since my Facebook account is in it’s usual reloading/not loading state and Tumblr’s been effed up for days now, Hello WordPress! =)

I’ve been listing down stuffs (inside my mind) the things that I want, (material things) the whole day. And I was wondering if it was a necessity or luxury.

  • Isang buwan na ‘to. Dati pa naman talaga siya, bumabalik lang. Nagsimula sa headache. Ngayon dumodoble na naman paningin ko. Kanina di ako makabasa, makagawa. Lumalabo na paningin ko? Oo! Matagal na. Ayaw pa din nila kong ipagawa ng salamin. Iniisip kasi nila nagiinarte lang ako. Huhu. Sad.
  • Yung drafting table!!!! Ilang beses ko ng pinapaalala kasi sa kanila. Haist. Isang rason kung bakit ako tinatamad gumawa sa bahay e (sinisi sa table??). Ang dahilan ni ina, saan daw ilalagay sa bahay, e ang liit liit ng bahay namin. Inay, bakit yung mga kung anik anik na inaamot mo sa pamamahay ng ibang tao nagagawan mo ng paraan maisingit sa ating pamamahay?? =)
  • Libro! Gusto ko ng boooooks! Yung sa Arki! Time Saver, saka yung mga libro ng Laws! Saka saka, marami pa.
  • Techpens! Hahaha! Napakahusay ko kasi. Ilang beses na ba ko nakakawala ng set ng techpens (set!). Mula pa ng high school. Hoho. Bakit ba yun e di ko magawang masinop? Napakamasinop ko naman? Hmm.
  • Saka pangpa-check up! Bakit nga ba wala talaga kaming ganun? Yung pagbisita sa doktor kahit sa wala lang. E yung meron na ngang komplikasyon di pa rin ipapacheck-up e, yun pa kayang daily chuchu. Please o. 18 na ko, di pa rin ginagawan ng paraan tong abnormalidad ko sa katawan. Huhuhu. Gusto ko maging normal.

Di ako galit! Swear. Feel ko lang yung exclamation point! Sana makilala ko yung nanalo sa lotto. Tapos matutuwa siya sakin, tapos iti-treat niya ko ng shopping spree! HAHAHA! Asa!

Pero galing, di ko naman pinapangarap na yumaman. Yung sakto lang. =)

****

Today. Masaya yung Pop Archi  Talk. Though hindi yun yung expected na madidiscuss, merong ibang point of view kaya yun yung naging paraang nung pagkakapresent nung topic. Saka ang awkward nung convo between Ma’am Osi and Arch. Lareza! Arch Capili ftw! =) Ang konti konti pa kasi ng um-attend, wala tuloy masyadong questions. Daming quiet moments kasi wala talagang nagtatanong!

On the other side of the world. Hindi ito awkward. Masaya. Ang sarap ng feeling i-share sa mga friends yung wonders na nagagawa Niya sayo. ’twas like telling the Greatest Love Story that ever happened to me. And still happening. Endless may be. Then yung pagiinvite, hindi ako nahiya! Cool! Parang it was a normal thing (normal naman siya, pero parang hindi ako kung iisipin mo kung sino ako dati).

And the last thing and may be the reason why I am blogging today. Ayun. I had this line all day, and was a realization a long time ago. Kanina kasi nagpalagay sila ng Henna Tattoo. Ako, syempre ayoko. Tapos nakiepal lang ako sa pagtingin ng mga designs. Natuwa ako dun sa Chinese characters, tapos nakita ko yung happiness. Ayun. Gumawa ako kahit ballpen ink lang. (Gusto ko matuto ng calligraphy!)

Nanggaling ‘to dun sa Pursuit of Happyness (na Movie Analysis ko nung 4th year high school pa ko). Pero. Ah basta eto.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako nag-start nung kapag nagwiwish ako para sa kahit kaynino, ang sinasabi ko, di katulad nung sa iba na ‘I wish you happiness..’ ang sinasabi ko contentment.

I just realized that, maybe that pursuit of happiness is intangible. (Tama ba yun term na gamit ko?) It’d always be a never ending pursuit of happiness. Happiness (would always) comes after sadness and vice versa. Like yin and yang, there’d be high and low, ups and down. We should just try and find our way in contentment.

It’s like, no matter what state you are in, there’s this neutral feeling that you could hold unto, for you are contented. Maybe hope despite of storms, and (the other way around) awareness that good things are bound to end for nothing is constant but change. Just that. Or maybe I should omit the word just, for it isn’t just, eh?

Yun lang. Malinaw ba? Kung ano man yan. Goooooodnight!

Thank you Abba Father. This day was filled with procrastinations and I wasn’t being productive, yet you still gave me the chance of gaining knowledge despite of my laziness. 😉 You are sooo great. Antok na po ako. :* =)

With much love,

k ❤

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One thought on “Conversation with Myself”

  1. At saka sang-ayon ako na mas mainam hilingin ang contentment ng mga tao kesa sa happiness 🙂

    “It’d always be a never ending pursuit of happiness” –tama. lagi tayong naghahanap ng kasiyahan kahit masaya na tayo gusto pa din nating maging mas masaya ^^

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