So I was in my bed listening to mellow songs before I went in front of the computer.
I dunno why I felt suddenly sad, no, maybe just a little bit down. Nothing’s wrong, but then not everything is right.
I just thought of reading something else besides the text messages saved in my phone, so I reached for the drawer at the top of my bed and used my hands looking for my Paulo Coelho book, Like the Flowing River. Too lazy to stand up,eh?
I opened it and landed on the page 83. It was a story about the same feeling I’m having at the very moment.
Sometimes, we feel like nothing’s happening, nothing’s changing. We try to look for things to do, things that might make a difference, feeling guilty about being useless just because everyone else is moving while you’re doing nothing.
But, don’t you think there’s a reason behind it?
Then I remembered I had written something before in my diary. Again I looked for my Starbucks Planner that I used last year to write my realizations.
Here it goes:
Monday, June 8, 2009
Blank Spaces — Filling in that blank spaces. Nature has it’s dormancy period and so do we. This is the thing most people are scared of — staccato. The feeling of not progressing.
Now I know that it is what I feel during vacations and school breaks. A sudden pause that makes us feel useless. But don’t we think of it’s advanyages
We’re getting in touch with ourselves. A chance to feel and fill the “soul of the world”. Too Coelhic, am sorry….
That was just a part of it. I deleted some of the parts coz I thought it was kind of nonesense.
Hmm. Well. I never had a feeling like this for a long time now. Maybe because I was enjoying this vacation too much and haven’t had think too much for some time?
Yea. I’ve changed. I haven’t talked to myself for a while, try to analyze whatever’s happening.
And one thing more, I almost forgot about my passion.
(May 28, 2010)